In the wake of Vanessa Sunshine's departure, expect more super excited reactions to group date cards, 3 intruders, a sprained ankle on a group date (followed by Cat ripping into whoever's ankle is sprained) as well as a lady disrobing, disconnecting and disappearing that the camera crew try to follow in the style of the Blair Witch Project (and hey we can all guess who the witch is in this situation).
So buckle down the hatches people, Alisha has a date card. But just in case you didn't know the big maroon envelope was a date card, she's waving around like a one woman tribute to Cabaret (3 finger smile included). It's a group date card. Alisha begins calling out each of the names listed on the card like it's the Price is Right complete with wild finger pointing gesticulation. What is going on in this episode? Everything seems very staged. Sorry, I forgot for a minute that this was Bachie. Before we get a wriggle on with tonight's programming, Cat wants to shut the 3 intruders down before they've even turned up. This kind of attitude really makes me angry #Cattitude
The 3 intruders arrive in a big white Cadillac. They're all brunette, and I have to say that 2 of them look like twins. As Badgie tells Deanna (the 1st intruder) that she'll get along just fine in Bachie Manor just as Cat whispers something mean about Deanna to the girls. Cat then pretends not to remember Deanna's name... #Cattitude. Next up is Jamie-Lee in the jumpsuit that's "banging" (according to Alisha). She and Badgie have a pretty quick chat and then she's hurled off to the group to be greeted by Cat first.
Lucky last we have Brittney. I'm going to call her Brittney 2.0 for now because of Brittany. Brittney 2.0 has an incredibly nervous laugh that might not allow her to make the whole episode (that's if Cat has anything to do with it). Even the girls laugh at her laugh and super high energy. Alisha calls her "Jatz crackers". This is not the first time an Aussie woman has ripped into another Aussie on reality tv by calling them Jatz crackers. See what the Real Housewives of Sydney did earlier with the "Jatz crackers" routine... Lets just say that it wasn't a successful joke.
Badgie walks Brittany 2.0 to the ladies, so Cat has to be super super nice to her and welcome her into the group like it's her job. It's hilarious! "Woo-hoo" it's Brittany 2.0!!!
So, it's time for a game. And that game is called the Bachelor Moon-Hopper Tournament!! Osher explains the rules and how it's to be played. It's netball on bouncy balls (that end up getting thrown to the side and instead they play a version of Rollerball-Netball in short shorts). Cat is pumped about letting the newbies know their place "fair and square" (she says, with an evil grin).
Badgie is loving watching the ladies bounce around playing "Moon Bangin' Quidditch"... K. So Cat is getting aggravated by "Deanna, or Daria, whatever her name is" because she's being a sportswoman (you see, she was one), and starts sledging her. I think I can already sense who the ankle victim is... Oh, the victim is Jamie-Lee. Did not see that coming. She genuinely rolls her ankle and Badgie carries her inside. Cat should have been on the green team. That way her current attitude would match her shirt as she goes off about Badgie attending to Jamie-Lee's needs. Cat would have broken everything if she knew Badgie would pick her up and carry her inside. Cat is 100% that Jamie-Lee has faked it. However I think St Vincent's ER have a slightly differing opinion.
Brittany 2.0 and Deanna (or Daria or Di or something) meet the OG ladies at the informal cocktail party. Romy was expecting the intruders to be complete "smoke shows" but isn't impressed (soooo just jealous then?). The troublesome trio stands off to one side trying to figure out what to call Deanna. Or is it Daria? Or Demir? Oh Cat's got it, it's "Red Jumpsuit". According to Cat, Deanna's constantly got a RBF, so no wonder she's 28 and single (zing!). The trio are ripping viciously into her like crazy. I think Deanna is lovely and I'm looking forward to seeing more of her in future eps.
Badgie finally turns up to the cocktail party (after ensuring Jamie-Lee is ok) and starts dancing with Brittney 2.0 who is dropping it like it's hot (but it's not). Badgie drops it too. It's hilarious! And just what this show needed right now. A little bit of silliness after a whole lot of b*tching.
So he takes her for a spin on his gorgeous new Indian motorcycle. I, for one, am a motorcycle lover and that motorcycle is humming like a dream. They turn up at the Apple Shack to watch a guy extract honey. Get it? Honey Badger... Honey... Yep. Afterwards they sit down for some honey mead (the original honeymooners drink of choice) and a chat. Badgie gives her a rose and leans in for a first kiss, but misses.. But gets it on the way back! And it's a hugely passionate kiss. This is definitely not a friend zone or what Tenille was expecting. I don't think either of them were expecting it.
While Badgie carries poor Jamie-Lee off for a chat (with crutches and a moon boot in tow), Romy decides it's time to verbally attack Tenille about "that kiss". I really do not like watching these girls operate. This behaviour is what bullying and gaslighting is. Brooke, sitting right next to Tenille, looks a bit uncomfortable. So I'm wondering what's true and what's not now... Have the troublesome trio made up a whole bunch of crap, or haven't they? Tenille is genuinely defending herself in a really nice way by saying that she hasn't said that kissing Nick was gross, etc. Aaah, Brooke is uncomfortable because the trio are going in for the kill. Tenille ends up walking away from the trio's onslaught.
Shaz walks over to Tenille to see if she's ok, then Romy turns up to gaslight Tenille further by not letting Tenille talk. When Tenille asserts herself Romy accuses her: "you're being so aggressive man". FFS get this off my screen. It's really horrible to watch and I can completely understand why Tenille runs off. Producers run after her to ask her what's going on. Shaz is with them for most of it and then heads back to Bachie Manor. Tenille is really upset after being bullied by the trio. They need to be booted from Bachie Island tonight.
Cat's inner monologue (aka voiceover) is all about how pissed off she is that 2 OG ladies didn't receive roses and how the "mediocre moles" got them. She is already beginning to spray at them. Ice Queen Romy (come on she's wearing all white with white feathers) is furious too. Hopefully she doesn't cast a spell like Emily Blunt's Ice Queen character in Huntsman Winter's War (another relevant film for this sub-plot).
preview for tomorrow night's ep...
#TheBachelorAU #TroublesomeTrio #StrikesAgain #HoneyDate #JatzCrackers #RunawayLady #TheBadgerAndTenille #DramaIsAfoot #Cattitude #CrackingOn