Short Version (for those who don't have time to read my dissertation underneath)
Laurina left so fast even my head was spinning. Michael gave Lisa his rose which devastated both Michael and Luke. Grant gave his rose to Ali. Australian Jarrod gave Simone his rose which majorly upset Keira. American Jared gave his rose to Leah. Uncle Sam gave Tara his rose which made me sooooo happy for the both of them because they’re just so effing cute. Luke gave his rose so sweetly to Keira which made her and the rest of Australia cry tears of sympathetic joy. Jake gave Megan his rose but we all know that Megan was wanting Elora’s. So Eden gave Elora his rose which shocked everyone in Australia and infuriated Nina. Sadly Nina didn’t get a rose and left. Meanwhile I’m looking forward to Apollo arriving in Paradise. I really want to see some fire dancing entertainment from both Elora and Apollo for the group one night. It could draw in the viewers who left with Laurina. Please Channel 10, it’s an opportunity you cannot miss milking.
Epically Long Version
Firstly, my colleagues didn’t get to see Wednesday night’s episode because they’ve been too busy doing a massive doc review and got home at ridiculous o’clock. They’re lawyers, they work until they drop and my goodness they’re all so lovely even when they’re exhausted. So everyone wanted to know what happened with Michael, Laurina and Keira.
I started with Michael’s decision to give Lisa his rose. I really liked Michael’s guts to go out on a limb for Lisa. Wonderful things can happen when you’re out on the twiggy branches. Especially since Luke seemed to be resting on his emotional laurels before the rose ceremony. Remember the little chat he and Lisa had with Megan? I think Luke was trying to convey that he would be friendly with all new people, not get up close and personal with them asap. Not everyone has D’Bag Daniel’s propensity to breadcrumb women so easily. Sorry Nina, I’m not one to believe a guy so quickly about being a D’Bag just for a reality show. He does it a little too well. As much as it’s exciting to watch, it’s psychologically giving the men of today a benchmark of how to treat women poorly, and let’s face it some of them are already bad enough. Yuck.
Aussie men on Bachelor Island can I just point out here that a compliment here and there wouldn’t go astray… That’s why the Canadian Fakin Bacon’s over the top complimentary behaviour made the women swoon. It’s nice to receive a compliment. But then again, us normal people don’t get to see all the footage. We’re all just so relieved that he’s gone. Thank you Laurina! You brought us so much and we miss you.
Back to my point though, Michael stepped up and made it clear that he wants to get to know Lisa. It’s not as if either Luke or Michael have put a ring on it. Keira is right, we need to calm down people. It’s just a rose. But Michael stepped up, he manned up (as he also put it) and he’s going for gold. Good for him! How many times have we all stepped into our power and looked fear right in the face and said, “Lisa will you accept this rose?” Not many.
I do feel sorry for Luke because he seems to have been edited in a way that he is ever so confused and quietly upset about what’s going on all at the same time. He seems like such a lovely guy, especially after I breezed past him at Bronte beach on the weekend and secretly squealed with excitement at seeing someone from BiP in – the – flesh! #YaJelly
I get Michael’s guilt about his decision, but you can see that he’s unable to sacrifice his own happiness for everyone else’s anymore and all I can say is – it’s about time! I think a lot of other men in the season so far could take a bit of inspo from that. Yes, I am talking directly to you Davey and Jarrod.
Keira and Jarrod both wanted to see each other in paradise. She’s on a bit of a dud date, a friend date with Michael if we must, and comes back to the thrill of seeing her man in paradise. Jarrod is losing it over Ali, he loses it seeing Keira and then loses his cognitive functioning for a bit longer after that. The energy around Ali seems to be so strong but light (if that makes sense). She’s got a magnetic pull around the men in Camp Bachie. So Jarrod gets pulled towards what his overindulged eyes can see. The magnetic pull is so strong! Keira is devo about it, and understandably. We can all see that Jarrod and Keira are destined for each other and I think that’s why Ali was a little hesitant but polite towards him. I felt so bad for Keira when she was in tears. We’ve all been there… Haven’t we?
Mack swoops in, Jarrod deigns to give Keira his rose and doesn’t see just how much that hurt her. Keira is a delicate flower Jarrod! She has been heartbroken before and admits that she finds it hard to open up to men that she has feelings for. What do you think flirting like a crazy man with Ali was going to do? Shut. Down. City. I felt so bad for her because (she’s right) he’s thinking with Mr Jarrod.
The dust then settles a little and then the Grade A Canadian D’Bag struts into town. He grabs Keira’s interest quickly, because he’s a compliment maniac (while simultaneously grabbing every other girl’s interest too), and is all over her – which Jarrod now has to watch. That is what humankind likes to call karmic cause and effect. I’m surprised Laurina didn’t acclimatise you all to that. Jarrod gets upset at Keira for flirting with D’Bag and refuses to allow her to say that he did the same with Ali and then proceeded to give her a second hand rose. Keira proceeds to push Jarrod away when she really wants him to fight for her.
Unfortunately Jarrod doesn’t understand that, but does love it when she throws a good feisty tantrum. He loves it! See, they’re both a little cray cray and in need of an honest sit down no games conversation over a cup of tea. Right now they’re both in a crazy catch 22 that Jarrod needs to fix. It’s the only way forward. He has to win her back. So in the words of Gina Liano, “snap the f*ck out of it!” You’re both dying to be with each other. Can you both just kiss and make up so we that can watch you both loving yourselves sick on the toad infested beaches of the coral coast in Fiji already! #TeamJeira
Also, I feel the need to say that I understand what Eden was saying to Nina. I am all for setting standards, but when you seemingly (possibly due to editing) don’t show any affection whatsoever then guys just don’t know if you like them or not. Did everyone else see how much Eden rubbed Nina’s back, cuddled her and stroked her arms? That’s a clear sign of intimacy and affection. And did you see her reciprocate any of that? I didn’t. Because I think that is exactly what Eden was talking about and I don’t think she was listening to him in that conversation because she kept accusing him of only wanting sex or he’d dump her. That must hurt. Then again, it will also hurt when you finally come to the realisation that you iced a lovely guy out. Now is it just me or does Eden remind you of Taika Waititi too? If you saw After Paradise (which is awesome) with the compilation of wise cracks he’s done so far, I think you’ll see the resemblance too.
As I sign off, here are some more questions that are popping up for me since I’ve started writing… Where is Wise and his advice segments? I’m really wanting to see a little more of him. Does anyone else wish that Sam Johnston (if single) would be a welcome (and entertaining) addition to the show? And where’s Sasha?
#BachelorInParadiseAU #Channel10 #TeamJeira #JarrodAndKeira4TheWin #AfterParadise
#MoreParadisePlease #NotAmishParadise #OrGhangstasParadise #BachelorInParadise
#Bachie #FireDancing #EntertainUs #WhereIsApolloAlready