Badgie pops out of the water, after a quick lap, wearing some very tight boardies. Osher can barely look him in the eye. Apparently he looks like a butcher's cat with hair on it: "all meat". Well he's not wrong. Badgie is in his super tight boardies leaving nothing to the imagination.
So for this to be a swimming carnival, the girls must get into teams. Cass and Brittany are the green team, Emily and Tenille are the red team, Cat and Dasha are the blue team, which leaves the newbies Brittney 2.0 and Deanna as the yellow team. Go girls!! Oh and of course Cat voices her opinion that she's glad she's not on the new girls team because they're "basic bitches"... #Cattitude
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
'Swimming Pool Bingo' is first up. Osher will pull out a ball from the bingo barrel and the first team to bring the corresponding inflatable beach ball from the pool wins points. Whichever team gets 5 points wins and must then go against each other in another round to win 1-on-1 time with Badgie. After a quick question from Cat, Osher shuts her 'stealing balls' query down and reiterates that 'Swimming Pool Bingo' is a non-contact sport. Ok, my fear of Cat trying to drown Deanna subsides.
Maybe not. Cat is grabbing girls by the legs to prevent them from swimming towards the correct ball, she's getting very mouthy and even makes Badgie's mouth pop open in shock at one point. I think the chlorine has activated full mean girl mode in her. It's not good. The red team wins as Emily is fully focused on finding the right balls.
So it now comes down to a 'Zorb on Water' race between Tenille and Emily. Emily is really really really determined to win this date. Cat is miffed that she didn't win and states that Tenille's team only won because Emily was on it... K. So the zorb on water race starts and Emily cuh-rushes it! Tenille is constantly falling over inside her zorb and, at one point, going backwards. It's pretty funny. But that's ok, she just had a lovely date with Badgie recently so it's Em's turn now. Yay!
Meanwhile, back at Bachie Manor the rest of the girls arrive home to find out that a single date card was delivered to Brooke. Cat is not impressed at all. She puts on her patented fake smile and utters a very disappointed 'huh'. Here we go... The other girls all feel extremely awkward about Cat's reaction. Cat turns around and demands that she's right to feel the way that she is considering that this is Brooke's third date and Cat's still on zero. Hmm, now why do you think that is Cat? Oh wait, here's the answer; Cat has "better things to do on the outside" (with her farshun business) than sit here waiting for some dude to never take her on a date. It's "beneath her".
They drive down to the Northern Beaches where they sit behind a screen to get their portraits drawn by an artist who can't see them. Brooke and Badgie have to describe each other's features. While it starts of funny (because you need to soften the nerves), they then both start to get drawn (pun gold!) into each other by really seeing each other's features and compliments. It's a bit beautiful.
But, back at the Manor, Cat is sitting with Romy and Alisha trying to figure out what to do because she feels sh*t (**sniffle sniffle**). Alisha asks her if she's going to ask Badgie what the deal is at the cocktail party, but Cat says she doesn't even care. Clearly she does or she wouldn't be sniffling back tears. You see darl, that's the physical manifestation of caring. It doesn't happen because your body is malfunctioning. It happens when you get certain feels.
They then move onto the topic of "The Tenille debacle" and how it's going to go down at the next cocktail party. Romy is adamant that Tenille was behaving like a child (insert arm gesticulations that never happened here). Alisha and Cat couldn't agree more. Then suddenly we're back on the new season of UnReal as a Producer chimes in to ask them if that's all they wanted to say. Yep, that's all they wanted to say... But, as the crew are moving onto the next location (while still filming and doing their jobs) Cat asks the girls if she should give Badgie an ultimatum. "F*ck yeah" and a suggestion of crying on top is made. Apparently if Cat cries he won't be able to handle it and will keep her for another episode. Please Badgie, please get rid of Cat now.
Thank goodness, we're back on Badgie and Brooke's date. They sit down to check out what the artist has done. It is actually really good. They're both very happy that their descriptions of each other translated. Badgie gushes to camera that he thinks Brooke could make an amazing wife... Aww :-) #CatchingFeels #Love
Brooke and Badgie arrive at the cocktail party. Cat sees Brooke has a rose and throws her opinions that they would have the most boring dates. You know, because "too much of a good thing" and whatever... #Jealousy101 #NoDatesForYou! (I really hope that hashtag is channeling the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld)
Badgie, with a plate of grapes, offers them to the ladies to help ease into a really good relaxing night. Or as Brittney 2.0 quips, "A grape night" (insert crickets chirping here). So he immediately drops the grapes off and grabs Tenille for a chat. He wants to know what happened at the last cocktail party. His intuition for a lady that's been bullied is going off like Brittney 2.0 for a conga line ("Yeah-ah boi!"). Badgie has been waiting for the right time to sort this BS out.
Cat, Romy and Alisha know that something is going to happen. Alisha thinks that Tenille is going to take the opportunity to pull Badgie aside to "throw someone under a bus". Oh babe, it's throw someone under the bus. Also, Badgie pulled Tenille aside and not the other way around.
Badgie gets down to business and uses a couple of candles to symbolise Cat, Romy and Alisha. I feel like he's about to use some sports metaphors, but he doesn't (missed opportunity there Badge). He points out a mean section and a friendly section and then asks Tenille to put the candle representations in the sections they're behaving in. The candles are immediately thrust into the mean section. He understands immediately. Badgie gives Tenille a kiss on the cheek and a hug because he's really sorry he didn't clean house earlier. He then says that he's really wanting everyone to feel happier and get along again. YASSS BADGIE BADGE!!! #CleaningHouse :-)
Badgie comes along to get Cat. She whispers to him, "I thought the cocktail party was over." Badgie quips, "Almost." Go Badgie go!!! He breaks the ice and starts the conversation by bringing up the fact that he's aware of incidents happening in the house and that her name is constantly brought up as the instigator. She doesn't know what on Earth he's talking about. She's truly (acting) shocked. She's not a mean girl. She speaks her mind and tells things how they are and sometimes people misinterpret that, but she has a heart of gold hands down. Srsly? I'm an actress and even I can see through all of that.
Badgie reiterates that he isn't going to tolerate sh*t stirring because it will damage his chances of finding the love of his life here. The sh*t has just gotten very real. So Cat starts the before mentioned waterworks like a seasoned actress (nice attempt). Cat states to camera that she doesn't want to leave; she wants to win! So she feels for tears and says that she had nothing to do with the whole Tenille thing. Badgie doesn't care and sends Cat walking... FINALLY!! And what's seriously baller is how he just walks her out to a waiting car and sends her on her way (looking very Lauren Cooper 'am I bovvered'?) without a word. Brilliant. Now to see how her BFFs will take it.
Cue the shock, horror, tears and tantrums...
Osher strolls into Bachie Manor (he has to be staying at a nearby mansion) to let the ladies know - in his ever so smooth and calm voice - that Badgie and Cat have been chatting 1-on-1 for a while now only to realise they have a "misalignment in values" and Cat has been booted from le mansion. Also, the rose ceremony is still going ahead in 5 minutes... Osher mic drops with a smile and walks away.
Romy and Alisha are already blaming Tenille and crying because they both suspect they've been thrown "under a bus" and caught out for bullying. I really hope Badgie cleans house a little more. Or at least just not give Romy a rose. Honestly, that behaviour is beyond toxic. I don't know how these girls have bought into their own BS. Although I guess once you're down that rabbit hole you're there for a very long time.
All the ladies are watching from the window, completely shocked - except for poor Jamie-Lee stuck to the spot with an almost broken ankle. Badgie strolls back in with Osher. I love the way Osher smoothly delivers the "Alisha and Brittney, you both didn't receive a rose. Please take the chance to say goodbye." I thought he was going to give Brittney 2.0 a chance. Oh well. At least the troublesome trio are gone. Balance is restored and all is well in Bachie Manor. Until next week...
preview of next week's unexpected drama...
#TheBachelorAU #TroublesomeTrio #SayAdieu #Cattitude #HappyHouse #HappyBadger