Love Island couple remorse

Now that we've met the "Couples" and an extra girl has been sent into the villa, throwing a cat amongst the pigeons (and by cat, I mean Erin's territorial behaviour is out), we're now seeing them all feel a bit of couple's remorse (read: I meant to pick the other guy/girl and now I want to swap...).

New girl Kim has turned all the guy’s heads. They are all secretly hoping she picks them. There's no doubt about it. If she'd have arrived maybe 30 minutes earlier - damn you Espanol Uber and the traffic on Mallorca aka home of Christopher Skase - she probably would have been ranked #1 on the guy's hottest Islander list. Because who wouldn't want to be #1? I'm literally rolling my eyes so hard I’m going backwards in time.

The pose of "choices".

Amidst all the whisperings about Kim, Tayla gets a text. The text says that in 24 hours Kim will get to choose which guy she wants to couple up with and that whichever girl is uncoupled is unsafe (ie. either going to be sent packing from the villa or 2 guys will come in and she’ll have her pick). Kim is trying to make her mind about who she wants but it’s such a hard decision. So what's her type? After a bit of over-gesticulation and a roundabout explanation, she likes all kinds of guys. However in the diary room she just likes Eden. Erin is going to be furious.

She's a hairdresser babe, it's not even a real profession...

We learn that Kim is a hairdresser and all the Islanders are wanting to know if she's brought her scissors. Erin seems very excited about this development. But I’m going to suggest not to go near Kim’s scissors until you’ve cleared up the Eden / Erin / Kim drama, because she will ruin your cut on purpose. Then we join her and Millie on the cabana for a chat. Kim *giggles* says, "What if I chose Eden? Can you imagine?" *giggles* *giggles* I'd be very careful if I were you Kim. Your scissors could be turned against you. I'm not feeling that you're going to be like Kem from Love Island UK. He was a delight, whereas you seem to be a bit extra. And now for something even more stupid are the double denim boys (aka Eden and Charlie) sandwiching Kim while she giggles and professes her love of Eden’s Aussie bloke vocal tones (omg omg sooooo funny). Le spew.

OMG you're so funny Eden. All you have to do is talk and gesticulate... Even Charlie's swooning (and the flamingo).

Time for bed Islanders! And it looks like Cassidy and Grant are the first to “christen the house”. What did I tell you? Before you know it, Cassidy (in tears) is regretting her actions and we all know why. She has a D&M with Grant about it because she's scared he's going to run. He assures her he's not and they end up pashing it out on the bean bags next to the pool (how romantic). Oh Jaysus Grant's bum tan is awful!!! He either needs some Sun In or a Silky Mit stat. So not going to screenshot that... Erk!

I'm shocked... There's absolutely no spooning going on. Not a spoon in sight.

Over to Justin and Kim. They’re casually sitting by the pool and have a random D&M question sesh in the style of "What's your favourite colour?" Face. Palm. It ends up with Kim saying she's not been to Italy, but Justin has - because he's an international model. He says that when you eat pizza in Italy it's like so amazing that you just don't think you're going to gain weight from eating pizza there. Uh, can you please tell me where I can go in Italy to eat all of that non-weight gaining pizza?

Then Kim gets a text!! She gets to take 2 guys out on picnic dates to help her make the choice. Will Eden be one of them? No. She chooses Josh and Charlie. Really? We all know she really wanted to pick Eden just to get back at Erin’s dig at her. Josh is stoked he’s been chosen because he is ready to mingle. He's heard that Kim is an outdoorsy kinda girl and he could do that. You know, be outdoorsy an sh*t. You do you ok. Charlie is also excited he's got a date. So what do the boys do next? They get Eden to help style them both. If I was a guy I wouldn’t have gone to Eden for styling. Maybe Justin, but definitely not Eden.

Bugs in my wine. Wine not?

I can't believe his moves are working.

Kim and Josh are first up for date number 1. They sit down to drink some red wine complete with bugs just to keep things interesting. Josh starts grafting away. The flattery is transparent but Kim’s all giggles which means she’s fallen for it. He has read her like a book and she’s loving it. Kim ever so quickly drops into that conversation that she has a 2 year old son. Truth bomb. Will he or won’t he freak out? Josh thinks it's cool that she has a kid (read: freaked out). He thinks they'd have a good time together even though he hasn’t hung out with babies before. I wouldn’t say hung out mate, that’s a bit weird. So the date ends and off he runs with his wine glass in hand (#Roadie). Production end up having to chase him down for it.

Next up is date number 2 with Charlie. He rocks up in an un-ironed shirt and proceeds to ask her about the date with Josh. Kim tells him that it was a really good date. Charlie admits that he loves Josh too (since they're BFFs, after 24 hours in the villa). He also begins grafting and laying it on thick. What he’s not getting is that she’s actually not particularly interested in him. I am beginning to see how the dates with Millie outside the villa fizzled out. I also don't believe that Millie and Charlie are both there at the same time by pure chance. Anyway, this date goes quite quickly because I’m not sure that Kim can get much banter out of Charlie. He’s too busy posing.

Kim and Charlie stroll back at the villa with at least a 5 metre distance between them (not a good sign). Everyone asks how their date was, so they split up into the 2 groups that have formed and begin to tell all. Josh asks Charlie how the date was and he responds a little too positively. Why does Charlie think he's going to get chosen? Is it my imagination or can he not read the cues Kim gave him.

Pls give me a wine. Imma need it.

More vino?

Back at the villa Tayla's a bit pissed off that Josh left for the date without saying bye. She tells Natasha that they’re not into each other, but wants to make a slight against his lack of manners (which isn’t hard really). Natasha seems to think that Kim is jealous of her (why tho?) and wants to take Charlie away from Natasha so she will be alone. Honestly, I really don't think Kim cares about you Tash. In walks a confident Josh. He goes for a chat with the girls. He's very confident that Kim will couple up with him tonight.

​Kim sits with the girls and whines about not knowing what to do (oh it’s sooooo haaaarrrd). I hate it when girls pretend they don't know what they want when they really do

She's going to choose Josh, and Charlie...??

I don't know what I want (but I do).

Meanwhile, Grant ends up chatting (read: crazy flirting) with Tayla in the bathroom. He’s skating on thin ice here. Tayla admits that she likes him and that she'd go on a date with him if she could. Uh oh! Grant is now heavily conflicted because he’s got double the attention and he wants to stay loyal to Cassidy. He feels like he's in a love circle... Babe that's a love triangle. You’re a tradie, shouldn’t you know your shapes?

This is like a shot out of a Spanish soap: (Tayla) "I want you Grant". (Grant) "I don't know what to do. I'm so torn..."

Anyway, he decides to pick up Tayla on his shoulder and run around the place just as Cassidy walks past (sting). Grant knows that man handling Tayla in front of the girl you just slept with is not ok. I think we can all make that judgment call #BloodyTradie

​Cassidy is quite a tough girl. I’ll give her that. Maybe she got all that sass from working at The Dick. Grant tries to chat with her and she pretty much tell him ‘you do you baiii’. She then goes to have a chat with Eden, who tells her to talk to Grant. I’m a little shocked at the sensible advice coming from him. Although he must have quite a wealth of knowledge in terms of non-violent conflict resolution. So she goes back to Grant and then they repair everything in the space of 2 minutes. Before you know it they're kissing.

Wait, wtf's going on here?

Sprung!

Whatevs. You do you Grant.

Actually, you do me instead.

While the patchwork is still drying on this love slippery dip (cause at this point, that’s the best analogy for this show that I’ve got), Grant goes off with Millie for some advice about his Tayla / Cassidy conundrum. Millie thinks that Cassidy would go nuts if he left her for Tayla. She thinks Cassidy is closet crazy... How lovely of her. Can't wait to see that comment come up in a group challenge – cause it will. If you've seen the UK version, you will know exactly what I'm talking about.

He then asks Tayla for 24 hours to figure it out which she’s cool with. Grant thinks he could have a future with her outside this show which he hasn’t said to Cass yet. Tayla thinks Cass should be nervous. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Tayla and Grant, Justin has been napping on the cabana lounge around the corner and can hear the entire conversation that they’ve just had.

Secret love declaration...

Not so secret.

Remember that Justin is falling for Tayla (after 10 hours with her) and he's devo about what's just gone down. He goes into the diary room and ends up in tears by doing what I think might be a form of crying man’s yoga. He feels like he was close with someone and then he just has to let the whole thing go. "Love is hard". I disagree there Justin and I feel for you. But love isn't hard. Love is easy. People are hard.

The face of someone who was baited.

Move on babe. Some ppl are hard work.

The various poses of Justin's crying yoga.

Justin, feeling refreshed after some crying in the mirror, ends up asking Kim if she wants to team up with him so they can stuff everyone else. He loves her presence and beauty. While she loves the way he made her feel welcome on her first night. Kim admits he's more her type than the other guys. Has Kim ever heard of the term baiting before? Cause that’s what she’s gone and done with 3 of the guys in the villa.

Erin watches everything transpire in front of her perfectly winged eyes and admits that she just loves the drama. Especially when it's not involving her.

Sitting around the fire pit, the status quo at the moment is that we have a love square on Love Island: Kim / Justin / Josh / Charlie. It sounds like I’m trying to put a square peg in a round hole, but I guess you can catch my drift. Everyone is on edge. Nobody knows what's going on and they all want to know because they all think that Kim is going to choose them. The funny thing is that Kim doesn't know what she wants to do (but she does). She chooses lame duck Josh with no bants, a wandering eye and a douche canoe.

I hope Grant picks me.

She chooses...

I hope she picks you.

Josh.

Tayla gets a text (just to make things clear for her) that she's now single. She reads it out (so everyone else is clear on it too) and then walks off to get changed and doesn't even bat an eyelid. Erin tells Cassidy that she's got to watch out or Tayla will take her man from her. Erin can smell the scent of man stealing wafting from Tayla.

Oh yeah, definitely single... Until I steal Grant.

Lock him down Cass.

Back in the diary room Millie has a few more crazy innuendos to say about Cassidy. However she ends up behaving more like that scene in Wedding Crashers where Isla Fisher does the crazy “I’ll find you” psycho laugh bit – and yet has the cheek to accuse Cass of being psycho. Is there a scuffle that’s been edited out of the show that could explain why Millie doesn’t like Cass? Because they both entered the villa together, got on really well but Millie is throwing shade at Cass for no reason. Jealous? Projecting? Or just insecure?

You see the similarities right? K.

Stay tuned for the next ep.