Jesse McGoldrick
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Paradise Lost?

17/4/2018

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Short Version

Sasha and Rachael arrive in Paradise. Rachael and American Jared have eyes for each other, but Leah doesn't want to lose her security blanket. Keira and Jared go on their first offical date and talk marriage and babies (yeah-they-do!). Megan wishes Thomas (aka Hercules) back so bad that Osher (and production) bring him back and they go on a private date. Things get #PassionateAF between them. As soon as they re-enter Paradise, Jake can't even... Neither can Leah. But that's a different sitch.
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Long Version

​The boys have all the rose ceremony power now! Speaking of the Rose Ceremony, Megan is lamenting the loss of Hercules (aka Thomas) to Simone. Wise joins the convo for a sec.

Wise:  Hey, what are you guys talking about?
Megan:  Boys.
Wise:  Good.

His job is done and off he struts.
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We need to see more of Wise.
Is the announcement peacock taking a nap? Because we have 2 new girls in Paradise and we weren't even warned. In walks Sasha and Rachael at the same time. There's a first. What's really interesting is seeing how Rachael spots American Jared and he spots her too. It's pretty cute. American Jared admits that even though he and Leah have exchanged roses there's really nothing more to it than that. Leah is afraid of not finding love and having her security blanket taken away by Rachael.
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Sasha and Rachael have arrived!
Date card!! This time it's Keira's name on it and she doesn't even have to think about who she's going to take, because it's Jarrod. I am so effing excited to see them on their first official date. It's a game of touch football with the local kids, which is actually really cute. Jarrod is already wondering what life with Keira and kids would be like. So is Keira. Back to the game and they are all over each other already.

They then go for drinks and nibbles and a big D&M. They talk relationship, visiting each other, meeting parents, babies, falling in love and it's just so so sweet to watch it unfold. Just know that Keira is only asking about wanting kids, not having kids right now ok? OMG the love banter goals! Jarrod admits that he's legit falling in love with her, while Keira holds her cards a tiny bit longer because she's falling for Jarrod hard and is afraid of getting hurt (normal), but there's nothing to worry about! #Boyfriend #Girlfriend #RealRelationshipTalk #ButKids #TooSoon #CalmDown
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Don't forget your sunscreen Jarrod #GingerSkin
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Cutest. Date. Ever. #Kids #CalmDown
Now, back to Paradise to hear about Rachael looking for her soon to be husband (while talking to Apollo). Simone tries to chill out by cooling herself down with a frozen daiquiri, but it doesn't last long. Before you know it, they're all playing volleyball and "Psycho Sim" decides to get territorial over Apollo. Apparently Rachael + a bikini + some vodka = a demon (maybe Simone meant herself #BadEdit) and a penguin... #Immature
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Marry me?
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#OsherSurprise
Oh sh******t... Osher arrives to extract Megan on a secret mission. He and Sam may have missed the "no t-shirt memo", but that's because right now he's playing cupid. Jake begins freaking out like crazy and so does everyone else. What is going on? Where has Osher taken her? Is everything ok?

Rachael has a chat to Simone about Apollo and realises that she's marked her territory over him. Simone is understandably territorial over Apollo because he is the nicest guy ever. Rachael asks if there's any other guy in Paradise who's like that... Faster than the crack of a whip Simone says, "American Jared". He's lovely and Leah's just using him like a security blanket.

Rachael then decides to go for a romantic walk with American Jared to see her first sunset in Paradise. They too have a bit of a big D&M and get along really well. It's because they have the spark and Rachael is genuinely interested in him (as well as being star struck). Leah turns up and finds out that Rachael and Jared are all over each other in the water watching the sunset. She loses her mind and Keira loves it.
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Cute! Instant D&M and chemistry #Sunset
Now where the heck is Megan?? Aaah, we see what you're up to Osher (and producers). You're playing cupid with Megan and Hercules! She regrets not going on a date with him and seeing him go because Jake isn't really opening up to her. Jake has been friend zoned and Sam is firing up the popcorn maker for when Jake finds that one out. Especially since Hercules is coming back to Paradise regardless of whether or not Megan wants him, because he was barely in Paradise for 24 hours and that's a shorter period of time than his plane trip from Canada to Australia (#SecondChances). So Megan and Hercules finally go on their date. It's a teppanyaki dinner for 2 at the Warwick.
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Aww Hercules is delighted to see Osher and Megan.
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I think we all see where this is heading for Jake.
Back in Paradise American Jared asks Leah for a private chat so they can figure out where each other stands because Leah hasn't opened up at all. Now that Rachael's in town, Leah wasn't expecting to lose her security blanket. Jared admits that he's not sure where his head's at and would like to get to know Rachael. Leah is blindsided... She was hoping to keep him until something better came along.

Rachael mistakes what's going on with Jared and Leah when she spots them chatting, so she begins spiralling. I don't think she's got anything to worry about. American Jared is really switched on and can tell that Leah is using him while also probably hoping that he's not about to get a flaming marshmallow to the face. Not the best idea to dump an Aussie girl next to a bonfire.
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Getting the security blanket pulled out from right underneath you... Ouch.
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#Spiralling #NoSitchTho
We head back over to see how Megan and Hercules' date has gone. They're walking along the beach talking and decide to go for a swim. The chemistry between them both is so hot that I swear the water begins to bubble around them like a hot tub.
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Well that was quick! #PassionateAF
Osher releases Megan and Hercules back into Paradise like a pair of little lost kittens. Then they're spotted. Jake is blowing all kinds of head gaskets and can't even deal right now. How he handles this situation is going to show me what it is about him that I find a bit off (not to mention the fact that he breadcrumbed Flo before BiP). Apollo comes up to greet them with open arms. I mean, he did spend 4 hours in a milk bath so they're practically brothers now.

The group gather around and ask wtf is going on. Hercules explains that it was Osher who let him back in. Jake ends up storming off. Megan begins to call after him so that she can explain herself.

Up Next: Megan opens up to Jake and he's crushed, Leah is self destructing because she still hasn't found love and begins flipping birds and throwing hate around Paradise, looks like Tara is ordering her a Fuber (Fijian Uber) to get her outta there fast.

#BachelorInParadiseAU #TeamJeira #FirstOfficialDate #HerculesReturns #PassionateAF #Sam&Tara4Eva 
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    Jesse McGoldrick is an actor, writer, dancer, karaoke enthusiast, guitar player, occasional painter, creative and dark chocoholic.

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