And we're back in Paradise where Osher informs us that the shockwaves from the rose ceremony are still being felt... Are they sure it's not a cyclone forming? #CycloneSimone (Please note that I work with a Simone and we're both very upset that her name is currently being besmirched)
After a few chats about what happened "last night", in little side groups, Lisa and Luke reaffirm their love. I'm not sure if Michael has much of a chance now, but I'm not going to give up hope for him. Eden finds support in Keira and Uncle Sam. Eden's pronunciation of intimacy ('un-te-mus-ee') just makes me giggle constantly.
Speaking of Eden, he gets himself a date card and immediately asks Elora. She really doesn't want to say yes (because she's psychic and knows that Apollo is arriving as soon as she leaves for this date), but says yes because she doesn't want to seem rude. The walk to the sand dune surfing date is quite uncomfortable to watch as Eden isn't picking up on the social cues that she's not very fond of being overly touched by him. As they're sitting at the bottom of the sand dune I can't help but notice Elora looking over her shoulder a bit too much. Is she looking to:
(a) assess the walk back to the top of the dune because sand surfing is fun;
(b) find an escape from this clingy date; or
(c) hope to see Apollo standing at the top of the dune like a Greek demigod come to rescue her.
I swear I heard her say, "Is that Apollo?" Nope. The date then progresses to the wine and nibbles section. Elora does not want to be on this date. She seems to be fighting off Eden's affection the way my cat does when I try to pick him up for a kiss and a cuddle - which usually lasts 10 seconds and then my face gets scratched off.
After a few chats about what happened "last night", in little side groups, Lisa and Luke reaffirm their love. I'm not sure if Michael has much of a chance now, but I'm not going to give up hope for him. Eden finds support in Keira and Uncle Sam. Eden's pronunciation of intimacy ('un-te-mus-ee') just makes me giggle constantly.
Speaking of Eden, he gets himself a date card and immediately asks Elora. She really doesn't want to say yes (because she's psychic and knows that Apollo is arriving as soon as she leaves for this date), but says yes because she doesn't want to seem rude. The walk to the sand dune surfing date is quite uncomfortable to watch as Eden isn't picking up on the social cues that she's not very fond of being overly touched by him. As they're sitting at the bottom of the sand dune I can't help but notice Elora looking over her shoulder a bit too much. Is she looking to:
(a) assess the walk back to the top of the dune because sand surfing is fun;
(b) find an escape from this clingy date; or
(c) hope to see Apollo standing at the top of the dune like a Greek demigod come to rescue her.
I swear I heard her say, "Is that Apollo?" Nope. The date then progresses to the wine and nibbles section. Elora does not want to be on this date. She seems to be fighting off Eden's affection the way my cat does when I try to pick him up for a kiss and a cuddle - which usually lasts 10 seconds and then my face gets scratched off.
Don't. Touch. Me.
Elora is feeling really uncomfortable and is trying to stay out of surprise kissing range. I don't blame her cause I've been in a similar situation. Eden is super keen and I swear I saw a little crazy eye pop up from him just before he started throwing food at her... Wait, what?! Did that really just happen? Why would any guy think it's cool to start a food fight on a date? Where are you Apollo? Elora really needs to be rescued now. Oh it's ok, she's decided to run back to camp. Actually I don't think she ran, I think she SUP'd back. At least Eden joked it off. A good sense of humour is needed in Paradise.
I swear this is Elora escaping the date.
So, while the Eden / Elora date food fight is happening, Apollo does arrive in Paradise. The footage of him on the super awkward date with Sophie Monk is re-aired. I forgot about the, "Breadstick?" moment. Classic! But into Paradise he strolls all smiles in his lobster print shirt (because all the ladies want to get their 'claws' into him, and funnily enough they do try). All the girls lose their minds at the mere sight of him. Jarrod man hugs him first to let everyone know that he has first dibs. Soz Elora and Simone. Then up comes Luke for an even more excited man hug for Apollo. As they bring him in to introduce him to everyone, who isn't on an awkward date, I can't help but notice that Luke is slightly taller than Apollo. Maybe I too am blinded by Apollo's demigod like stature.
#DreamBoat
Off to one side Michael chats with Simone at the bar, and I really think that Wise could have been utilised here, because Simone has just admitted to him that she doesn't quite feel it with Jarrod. She's looking for a pretty guy. Clearly she used him for a rose, and by the lack of communication Jarrod knows it now too. So in walks Apollo and I swear that I can see a though bubble over Simone's head that says, "Jarrod who?"
Apollo sits down with his boys Jarrod and Luke to get their advice on what's going on. Then suddenly Uncle Sam and Tara emerge from the waters of Fiji together to give Apollo yet another massively awesome greeting. Uncle Sam jumps Apollo (like Luke), while Tara hugs him and repeats all the ladies thoughts on the island. She is scarily accurate and hilarious ("Oh Apollo... You're so strong Apollo... You look like a Greek god Apollo."), and I can't help but laugh hearing her mispronounce his name 'A-polo'. Even Michael is calling him 'A-polo'. Guys he's not a shirt. He's a fire twirling magic making demigod. Even though he’s a demigod, and could probably find his own love in Paradise, Tara and Uncle Sam have made it their mission to help him instead.
Apollo sits down with his boys Jarrod and Luke to get their advice on what's going on. Then suddenly Uncle Sam and Tara emerge from the waters of Fiji together to give Apollo yet another massively awesome greeting. Uncle Sam jumps Apollo (like Luke), while Tara hugs him and repeats all the ladies thoughts on the island. She is scarily accurate and hilarious ("Oh Apollo... You're so strong Apollo... You look like a Greek god Apollo."), and I can't help but laugh hearing her mispronounce his name 'A-polo'. Even Michael is calling him 'A-polo'. Guys he's not a shirt. He's a fire twirling magic making demigod. Even though he’s a demigod, and could probably find his own love in Paradise, Tara and Uncle Sam have made it their mission to help him instead.
The Love Doctors (aka Uncle Sam and Tara) are in to help Apollo fall in love! #LoveDoctors
Keira, who is dominating the mango daiquiri's, heads over to chat with Apollo. Jarrod watches her make a beeline for him and can't help but point out that he's too young for her. "He's 24, he's a kid, I mean..." Jarrod go and get Keira back! Maybe you could get sunburnt a bit more and ask her for help applying aloe vera. It’s just an idea. But Keira heads off for the chat. Ali has a moment when she realises that Keira is wearing heels in Paradise. I'm telling you all now, it's to get Jarrod's attention - and it is working! Keira sadly realises that Apollo is too young for her as she just can't even have that conversation he wants to have. Words are failing her and that’s it.
One of many mango daiquiri's that Keira is using to ease the bumpy ride that is BiP.
Megan also knows that Keira will only ever be into Jarrod. He really is regretting last night's rose ceremony. Keira heads back over to Jarrod and he admits that he's "still sold on her". I knew it! Now Jarrod, go and build that bridge to get Keira back over to you so that we can watch Simone giggle herself silly with Apollo. He admits that the only thing he knew about Simone was that she put a sticker on Matty J's penis... I didn’t. I think this is saying more about him than any of us. But after more giggles about confusing sea turtles with sea horses, he gives her the date card. Elora is going to be pissed when she finds out.
Eden and Elora walk back into Paradise and, just as Elora predicted, Apollo has arrived. Ali acclimatises Elora about the past few hours but leaves out that Simone got the date card. So Elora goes to hug her BFF Simone and instantly regrets it as soon as Simone says, "I got the date card." Elora then tries to guilt her about it which is the precursor to what will be an epic fight.
This could possibly be BiP's first Animal Fighting Scenario: Tahitian Fire Dancer vs Cyclone Simone (toad infested beach terrain, Luke and Jarrod singing the classic Brandy & Monica hit 'The Boy is Mine' in the background, actual cyclone brewing around the island).
So Elora grabs a red wine for Apollo from the bar. I can't help think that red wine isn't the wisest drink of choice after a pina colada for him. I should know, I did just come back from a week in Fiji and felt the instant regret of drink switching. Cut to Simone losing her mind seeing Elora take Apollo for a chat. Ali sticks up for Elora on this one, so Simone gets defensive and throws her some choice bleeped out words. I think Cyclone Simone has had too many mojitos and just hit category 2 as Michael shuts her ‘level 10 crazy’ down. Nobody is impressed with Simone right now. But she seems to think that the date card is a marriage proposal, so she therefore owns Apollo. Soz babe, that’s not how it works.
This could possibly be BiP's first Animal Fighting Scenario: Tahitian Fire Dancer vs Cyclone Simone (toad infested beach terrain, Luke and Jarrod singing the classic Brandy & Monica hit 'The Boy is Mine' in the background, actual cyclone brewing around the island).
So Elora grabs a red wine for Apollo from the bar. I can't help think that red wine isn't the wisest drink of choice after a pina colada for him. I should know, I did just come back from a week in Fiji and felt the instant regret of drink switching. Cut to Simone losing her mind seeing Elora take Apollo for a chat. Ali sticks up for Elora on this one, so Simone gets defensive and throws her some choice bleeped out words. I think Cyclone Simone has had too many mojitos and just hit category 2 as Michael shuts her ‘level 10 crazy’ down. Nobody is impressed with Simone right now. But she seems to think that the date card is a marriage proposal, so she therefore owns Apollo. Soz babe, that’s not how it works.
Meanwhile Sam is digging a hole. I feel like this is a little derivative of The Castle, but I love that. OMG he's building a love shack for Tara. Or as he likes to call it, "sticks leaning on sticks." Bless! Better than a love fern any day. He takes Tara on the cutest date ever and admits to her that she's unlike any woman he's ever dated before because she makes him laugh so much that he has to pee. "You make me pee when I don't need to pee." He makes her pee too. Aww beautiful words. I love how we depart their gorgeous scene with:
Tara: Can we sleep in here tonight?
Sam: Yeah, if you want malaria.
Tara: Can we sleep in here tonight?
Sam: Yeah, if you want malaria.
Best couple in BiP - with or without malaria #Sam&Tara4Eva
Skipping on, while Simone sunbakes with Apollo, Elora grabs her for a conversation and asks her not to bring her up on the date. But Simone's finding it difficult to concentrate and focus on Elora's voice. Maybe she needs a fidget spinner? Simone walks away with confusion painted all over her face. I now understand Elora's position and I think I'm siding with her. Because that's what you do when you're a highly opinionated audience member.
Jarrod grabs Keira to go for a "walk to the beach" and I'm so effing excited to see that he's put a beach date on for her. Go Jarrod! Win your lady's heart back sir! 10 points for such wonderful effort. I told you that he was the one who had to fix it! So they begin talking, working through their issues over cheese (cheese fixes everything) and he KISSES HER!!! OMG OMG OMG all the feels! YASSSS!! #SecondGo #InLoveAlready
Jarrod grabs Keira to go for a "walk to the beach" and I'm so effing excited to see that he's put a beach date on for her. Go Jarrod! Win your lady's heart back sir! 10 points for such wonderful effort. I told you that he was the one who had to fix it! So they begin talking, working through their issues over cheese (cheese fixes everything) and he KISSES HER!!! OMG OMG OMG all the feels! YASSSS!! #SecondGo #InLoveAlready
They've got all the feels going, I've got all the feels going, we've all got all the feels going - YASSS!!!
Simone and Apollo's date was a bit of a non-event. They kayaked to pick up a couple of beer bottles and bottles with questions in them to ask each other. It’s a bit boring and I can’t help but feel like my answers to those questions would be so vastly different. But there's no kiss and then they head back. Oh wait, just like Simone, I forgot to mention that she brought Elora up a number of times in the conversation. Yeah. Insert haughty derisive laugh here.
But before Apollo and Simone arrive back in Paradise, Elora is also talking and talking and talking about the Apollo / Simone situation with everyone. I just love the faces Keira is pulling at this stage. You know she just doesn't care and it's how we all feel. "Apollo, please use your magic to make Simone and Elora disappear". Cut to: Magic iguana nodding yes. Keira needs more daiquiri’s if she’s going to get through more of Elora’s obsessing.
Everyone's back in Paradise sitting in groups and chatting, after Simone and Apollo were bombarded with questions from the group (because they can all sense a fight about to go down). And on perfect queue, Jarrod spots Cyclone Simone brewing and alerts all the guys to the fight happening right next to their dude chat. He's so gee'd up about it.
Elora pulls Simone aside for another chat... This time she tries to go deeper with her and divulges that a rumour has been spread around camp about Elora taking a guy that Simone was interested in before they came onto the show. However, Elora didn’t tell anyone in Paradise about what happened and then begins to clear up the spilled beans. It turns out that Elora was fine when Simone slept with Courtney on their couch, even though Elora liked him first. It seems that Elora is accusing Simone of a particular behavioural pattern which is playing out in Paradise. Cyclone Simone storms off, while Elora tells her that she's being childish for not dealing with this now like an adult and ends it with an eye roll. Well played, and we want more.
But before Apollo and Simone arrive back in Paradise, Elora is also talking and talking and talking about the Apollo / Simone situation with everyone. I just love the faces Keira is pulling at this stage. You know she just doesn't care and it's how we all feel. "Apollo, please use your magic to make Simone and Elora disappear". Cut to: Magic iguana nodding yes. Keira needs more daiquiri’s if she’s going to get through more of Elora’s obsessing.
Everyone's back in Paradise sitting in groups and chatting, after Simone and Apollo were bombarded with questions from the group (because they can all sense a fight about to go down). And on perfect queue, Jarrod spots Cyclone Simone brewing and alerts all the guys to the fight happening right next to their dude chat. He's so gee'd up about it.
Elora pulls Simone aside for another chat... This time she tries to go deeper with her and divulges that a rumour has been spread around camp about Elora taking a guy that Simone was interested in before they came onto the show. However, Elora didn’t tell anyone in Paradise about what happened and then begins to clear up the spilled beans. It turns out that Elora was fine when Simone slept with Courtney on their couch, even though Elora liked him first. It seems that Elora is accusing Simone of a particular behavioural pattern which is playing out in Paradise. Cyclone Simone storms off, while Elora tells her that she's being childish for not dealing with this now like an adult and ends it with an eye roll. Well played, and we want more.
Uh oh SpaghettiOs!
Next up: Tears, a mysterious note to Elora (guessing it’s from Simone stirring sh*t), someone trying to ruin paradise for Elora, and more. I wonder what drives Elora into Megan’s open arms? Because we all know that’s coming.